By Ma Ananda Sanghavasini, Meditation Facilitator & Intuitive Life Coach at The Divine Mine.
In this month’s article I would like to reflect on the impact expectations can have. Most of us human beings live our lives from an unconscious place, simply reacting to
‘outer’ circumstances. When we get up in the morning we might have an expectation of what the day will bring, or simply don’t give it much thought. As we go through our day we usually bounce around between different emotions depending on what kind of situations we find ourselves in. This way of living is coming from identification with mind. When we are identified with mind we don’t pay attention to what’s happening right now. We don’t fully live life, we simply miss it all by resisting the moment, projecting into the future or lingering in the past. We compare with past experiences and from this decide whether the situation is acceptable or not. This all happens from an unconscious level and is not good or bad, it is just the movement of mind. That’s all.
When we have expectations we are not open to new experiences. Yet, if we are not open to experience something new, we keep being stuck in the same experience over and over again and wonder why. From the mind’s perspective change is not good thing. Western society is based primarily on identification with mind. In our culture, change equals bad news and brings about a lot of fear. Yet, there are cultures that encourage change and support this, that live life by simply being in the flow of it.
When we expect life to be a certain way and it doesn’t meet our expectations we start to resist it. We resist life by resisting what’s happening in the moment. This can be seemingly little things like being in a traffic jam, having to wait in the line up at the super market or seemingly bigger things like not getting the job we wanted or a relationship that is not working. I write seemingly because ultimately, it simply is resistance to life itself when expectations are not met. When we resist life, we cannot experience the joy, bliss and happiness that are at the core of our being, just waiting for us to be embraced. When we keep holding on to our expectations we live on the periphery of our potential as a human being. We are searching for this bliss and yet stopping the experience of it by having expectations. It is like looking for your glasses while all the while you are wearing them.
When we are open and willing to go with the flow, seeing life as an adventure and embrace the uncertainty that comes with it we start to experience life from a depth that is beyond mind. How can live from this place? Simply notice it when you are resisting life. Simply notice when you find yourself frustrated when an expectation hasn’t been met., and most of all: smile as you notice this! When we smile we open ourselves up to the flow of life. Expectations might still be there, but by noticing them you can start to let them go. Notice them, smile and take a deep breath. Then, just see what happens! Have no expectations about not having expectations and simply enjoy the journey.